In my job, I directly interact with the public, face-to-face, a minimum of six hours a week. This does not seem like a lot of time but it seems like enough time to come across some rather unusual questions and statements from our patrons.
Let us start with the most frequently asked question: No! Not "do you have 'Catching Fire'?" It is in fact, "where is the bathroom?" It is not the question itself that is so strange but rather how the question is asked, the most bizarre being "do you have a bathroom" and its variant statement "you don't have bathrooms, do you?". This might be a viable question in a small store or a questionable-looking gas station, where space is limited; however, in a five-story building you would hope that there would at least a toilet in a broom closet. There are ten bathrooms (twenty counting men and women separately) in our library, so I think it is safe to say, we do have bathrooms.
The next category of questions is the main feature of this blog: questions better not asked. I had a student approach the desk with two books in hand. I checked them out and handed them back. He thumbed through one of the books and asked "is it okay if I write in the book?" I was rather shocked that anyone would write in a library book (sacrilege!) but even more so that someone would ask if it were okay to do so. Many library books have crossed my path, whose once clean pages had been marked with pen, pencil, or highlighter, but I ad never been asked if this act was acceptable. For the record, it's not okay and I have never heard of a librarian that would find this behavior acceptable. In this case, "it is better to ask for forgiveness, rather than permission". In other words, what I don't know won't make me go screaming into the night...
The last category is "questions that are not in fact meant to be answered but merely asked to raise my blood pressure to pre-hypertension levels for the amusement of the asker". These would include "what would happen if I never returned this laptop" and "didn't you stay 24-hours last finals week". The first question, I can't explain. What would do you think you would happen? You would get to keep it forever? You would be granted three wishes? The second is the type that seems not to be a question but a challenge to my knowledge of actual library policy and an attempt by the asker to be granted special "all-night access", if the question is phrased just right.
Moral of the Story: The adage "there are no stupid questions" does not seem to always hold true. And, by the way, the closest bathroom is in between the elevator banks.
Thanks for reading and remember, don't fold down the pages of your library books (or write in them).
